Dear Sebastian,
There is a secret inside of me that burns my very soul. My conscience is at war; the angel and the devil have brought out their weapons and are using my mind as a battlefield. Constantly I am assaulted by the possible outcomes of the actions each side argues, each even more tempting than the previous. For every action that I perform I feel guilt, there is no winning scenario. For in this instance, someone will get hurt and I pray that whoever it is will not be destroyed.
My heart has grown cold for it has been toyed with long enough. This silent war is over love, a cruel emotion brought down to us by the Gods. I remember her standing there, the blanket wrapped loosely around her as she stared at me. I knew what she wanted, but I could not comply. Oh how I wished to, to take her and claim her as mine. Yet, her hand was already taken by my closest friend. I could not walk this earth knowing that I had dishonored the trust of friendship, of brotherhood.
But yet, I knew that in my heart I had loved her since the day I laid eyes on her. Inside I am destroying myself; knowing that she loves me and I love her, but there is nothing that I may do. I may simply watch in pain and listen with torture to my friend describe his escapades with her. He would speak and I would wish with all my might that it was I that was speaking and not he.
There was a time when we would meet, her and I. We would simply converse like two people passing on the road, nothing too deep. But there came the time where we both confessed our love and then were left dumbfounded, unsure of where to go next. It was decided it would be best to forget our words and move on, living life the way we used to. Yet, that was near impossible. Daily my heart went to her, her beautiful face filling my mind. It didn't help when she began to send letters, letters professing her desires to see me.
Stupidly I went and found myself falling deeper into the cavernous pit known as love, for when I was with her I forgot all about my dear friend. We dangerously flirted in secret, but never once did we act on our words. Whenever I was with her it was easy to forget the world around me and concentrate only on her. But when I returned home, I found myself feeling so guilt ridden that I wished to hide myself from the world.
Dear Sebastian, I am sorry to say that it is you who's wife I fell in love with. It is also with this letter that I will say good bye, for I leave with the next train to become an RAF pilot at Biggin Hill. I could not bear to hurt you and I could not continue torturing myself. My good friend, I wish you can forgive me for what I have told you. It is in your hands now for what you wish to do now, but I could not live without telling you.
Creighton Derwood
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